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14 Ways To Affair Proof Your Marriage

// July 2nd, 2009 // Comments // Daily Rant

Via Art Of Manliness dot com

Many people look at infidelity as if it was a natural disaster; no one could see it coming; it just inexplicably happened. Perhaps this is because we are a country that has abdicated its belief in personal responsibility. The truth is that not only can men see it coming, they can prevent it from happening as well.

It is possible to affair proof your marriage. Will it be a lot of work? Yes. But that’s what you signed up for when you decided to marry your sweetheart. What is cheating?

Before we begin our discussion on how to immunize your marriage against infidelity, we should establish what constitutes cheating. Having sex with another woman other than your wife is obviously cheating. But it’s also possible to be unfaithful without having to go that far. Infidelity has shades of gray that should likewise be avoided. It is possible to be emotionally unfaithful without crossing any physical boundaries. A perfect example of this is online infidelity. More and more married men are having online romantic and sometimes sexual relationships with women other than their wife. While there’s no physical contact, I would definitely say this is cheating. Men who “date” online are violating a trust that their wife has put in them to be faithful-both body and mind.

Now let’s get down to business. Here are 14 ways to affair proof your marriage:
Make your Marriage Your #1 Priority

This past summer my wife and I spent a week in Montpelier, Vermont. If you were to picture the ideal small American town, Montpelier would be it. It’s an absolutely charming place. One of the town’s tourist brochures carried the tagline: “Places like this don’t just happen.” The citizens of Montpelier have put in a lot of work to maintain the town’s magic.

Similarly, successful marriages don’t just happen. You have to be willing to put in the effort. This is especially true as couples get busier with careers, kids, or community activities. Those things are important, but if you want a strong marriage, your wife must come first.

Keep dating your wife. We’ve written about this before, but it deserves repeating. Establish a weekly “date night” with your wife and treat this time as sacred. Your dates don’t have to be fancy, but you do need to work to keep them fresh. A recent study showed that injecting novelty into your dates can bring back the butterflies you experienced when you were first courting. So visit a new restaurant, try a new hobby, or take a class together.

Quit the porn. Bringing porn into a relationship is not healthy. It’s like bringing another woman into your marriage, except she’s glossy and airbrushed. Porn will only create an unrealistic expectation in your mind about your spouse’s libido, body, and comfort level with weird sex positions. Pretty soon you’ll find that your wife isn’t satisfying you and your eyes will start to wander. Dump the porn.

Focus on being romantic. Any woman will tell you it doesn’t take much to be romantic. A romantic letter or email only takes a few minutes to write. Flowers are always welcome, even if you picked them up from the grocery store on the way home. These small gestures show your wife that you’ve thought of her and help you reinforce your commitment to your wife.

Initiate affection. Studies show that couples who are affectionate with each other stay together. Make an effort to initiate spontaneous affection with your wife. Give her a hug or surprise kiss and tell her how much you love her. Hold hands with her when you’re out together. Also, don’t make your wife cuddle-rape you. Invite cuddling with her without making it a precursor to sex. These small gestures will help strengthen the physical connection that every relationship needs.

Have sex regularly. Many men stray because they’ve gotten bored with their sex life with their wife. It’s pretty easy to get into a slump in your sex life when you’re married. Things just get busy and by the end of the day, couples are just too tired for it. Make sex with your wife a priority. It doesn’t have to involve kama sutra and edible underwear. Just do it. Frequent sexual encounters with your wife will strengthen your emotional and physical attraction to her.

Spend time just talking. Find some time each day to have meaningful conversations with your wife. If you have kiddos, do it after you put them in bed. Talk about what you did during the day. Discuss what you’ve been thinking about lately. Share your dreams with them. The idea is to deepen the bond between to you and your wife. It’s harder to cheat on her when you’ve made such an emotional investment. Deposit into this investment by frequently engaging in meaningful conversations.

Share a common interest. A big reason men stray from their wives is that they begin to find less and less in common with them. When you first started dating, you probably had everything in common. Well, at least you thought you did. So you would spend lots of time together doing things you both enjoyed. Then you got married and started working and your wife either started working too or stayed home to take care of the kids. Pretty soon there begins to be much fewer areas in which your lives overlap.

Avoid this by maintaining a common interest or hobby with your wife. For example, my in-laws do ballroom dancing lessons. Every weekend they’re out dancing. When they’re at home in the evenings they practice in the living room. My wife and I have made it a goal run in a 5K and we’ve started to run together. We also have this blog that we do together. Just find something that both of you can enjoy and participate in it together.

Have a sense of honor and duty. Remember that when you got married you made a sacred promise or vow that you would be faithful to your wife. There was a time when a gentleman was judged on whether or not he was a man of his word. Sadly, people today don’t take those sorts of things seriously. Many people feel justified in breaking their promises when something stops being easy and pleasurable. Buck the trend. Be a man of your word. The honorable thing is to fulfill the duty to your wife that you freely took upon yourself the day you got married. I know some will say, “You shouldn’t stay in a terrible marriage just to avoid breaking your vows.” Perhaps not, but you do have the duty to do everything you can to save that marriage before calling it quits. And I mean everything.

Establish boundaries

Many men feel they are manly enough to handle any situation with a woman. For them, setting firm boundaries reeks of weakness or unnecessary zealotry. But that is what every man thinks right before they take it too far. Far better to be safe than sorry. If people think you are a prude, so be it. You are prude going home to the love of your life each night with a head held high.

In your quest to avoid temptation, it should be understood that there’s nothing wrong with having friendships with other women. In fact, it’s inevitable. You probably work closely with other women at work or school. The key is to know where to draw the line and then to stay as far away from it as possible. This will require you to do some serious introspection and figure out what your boundaries are. Here some things you can do to help you in that process.

Establish boundaries with your wife. Sit down with your wife and find out what she’s comfortable with in regards to your relationships with other women and vice versa. It will be different with each couple. For example, you might make it rule that neither of you will drive or ride alone in a car (unless absolutely necessary) or dance with a member of the opposite sex.

Evaluate your vulnerabilities. Sit down with your wife and evaluate your vulnerabilities. Many people don’t realize that they may have personality traits that open themselves up for infidelity. These traits don’t have to be bad either. For example, you might naturally be an empathetic listener. There’s nothing wrong with that, but some women may take this attention the wrong way.
How do you know if you’ve crossed the line between friendship and something more?

There are three signs that indicate that you may have crossed the line into infidelity:

1) Emotional intimacy

Do you find yourself sharing more of your feelings and thoughts with your female friend than with your wife?

2) Sexual tension

You instinctively know when it is present. Huge red flag. Don’t rationalize it away.

3) Secrecy

Do you close your email window when you wife walks by? Do you leave out details of your day because they include encounters with your friend? The minute you fudge anything about your relationship with your female friend, you’ve stepped over the line.

If you see any of these signs, it’s time to re-evaluate your friendship with that other woman. You may need be broaden your boundaries in order to avoid any temptation in the future.
Avoid temptation

Meet in groups, if possible. If you know you can’t handle situations of being alone with another woman without it crossing the line, avoid being alone with another woman.

Avoid frequent conversations about your personal life. Many an affair begins when people start talking about their problems with another woman besides their wife. They feel like the other person understands them better than their wife. They feel a closer connection with them, so they start spending more time with them. If not checked, it may eventually lead to infidelity. Not always, but why risk it?

Stay away from online dating sites. A recent study shows that a large percentage of men who surf online dating sites are married. Virtual affairs are still affairs.
It’s harder to cheat on your wife than stay faithful

Think about the consequences. It’s actually much harder to cheat on your wife than it is to be faithful to her. When you’re unfaithful, you have to start sneaking around, hiding phone calls, and lying. That’s a lot of damn work. While being in a committed relationship takes a lot of work too, it pales in comparison to the rigamarole you’ll have to go through to have those few moments of excitement with another woman.

Another way cheating makes your life harder is having to deal with the consequences when you’re finally caught. Imagine having to face your children and tell them you haven’t been completely faithful to their mother. Imagine the look of hurt and sadness you’ll see in the eyes of the woman you told you would love forever. If that doesn’t make your stomach sink a bit, you’re a giant douchebag.

Conclusion

Making your marriage affair proof requires a large investment of time and emotional capital. But the investment is well worth it. Set high standards for your marriage and for yourself. Man up and you’ll never stray.

The Ultimate Wedding Dance

// July 1st, 2009 // Comments // Quickies

Sewer Cam finds unknown life form

// July 1st, 2009 // Comments // Quickies

well sort of… here’s the real explanation Continue Reading

Why Do I Need This: MP3 Doorbell

// July 1st, 2009 // Comments // Quickies

Just because I really want it. The following is a c&p from geeky gadgets.com

The MP3 Doorbell

Here’s a fun gadget, and ideal addition to any geeks apartment the MP3 Doorbell.

The MP3 Doorbell lets your choose any MP3 as your doorbell tone, it can store up to 300 songs so you will be able to change your doorbell tone all the time to keep your visitors entertained.

The MP3 Doorbell comes with 2GB of storage, and consists of a wireless doorbell and a wireless receiver unit, which can also be used as an MP3 player.

The MP3 Doorbell will be available to pre-order shortly from Thumbs Up UK for £39.99 about $57.

*FIXED: Bonnie Cha & the HTC Touch Pro 2

// June 29th, 2009 // Comments // # Windows Mobile World

Don’t ask me about the BET Awards!

// June 29th, 2009 // Comments // Daily Rant

Dear (People that don’t listen to Hip Hop & R&B),

The BET awards aired last night and they were by far the best one in the many years it has been running. The show was a spectacular display of Michael Jackson dedications, celebrity presence, star performances, and Ojay tributes. Unfortunately at one point Lil Wayne, newcomer Drake, & Soulja Boy all had an oppurtunity to take the stage.

When each of the aforementioned happened something tragic took place. Please don’t act like this doesn’t happen in other genres. I can clearly remember rock & country stars that took the stage drunk and/or high while using profanity in acceptance speeches. It makes you cringe when you see it. It is not representative of a good hip hop performance. Jay-Z showed us what that was last night.

In closing, when I see you today don’t ask me about Lil Wayne. He’s not from my generation and I would definitely dispute his self proclaimed best rapper alive status. Drake is for little girls obviously since that’s what took the stage last night so I disavow any knowledge of him. While Soulja Boy cleaned up in record sales he obviously spent NONE of that money on a stage show for the awards and he’s fully aware now of “Why everybody is hatin on him”.

Peace & Love

PS Eddie Levert of the O’Jay’s saying people were dancin & “sh@t” was absolutely hilarious.

HTC 50% sales growth, Sense UI, & it’s future with WinMo

// June 28th, 2009 // Comments // # Windows Mobile World

Jason Mackenzie reportedly told Reuters ” I expect to grow U.S. volume by at least 50 percent from 2008 to 2009.” This would imply sales of about 6 million phonesin 2009. This report was taken from WindowsForDevices. While the non American markets are expected to grow 20% the American market has less experience with the HTC brand and the heads believe once the consumer becomes more familiar sales will increase dramatically.

Now a word about HTC’s Sense UI. Isn’t that the interface being used for their Android devices? Yes it is, however HTC has anounced that the Sense UI will be ported to Windows Mobile. WindowsForDevices reports “HTC Sense, which the manufacturer says will be “introduced across a portfolio of phones,” though not the earlier Android devices. Much like Palm’s Linux-based WebOS, Sense is said to integrate communications from phone calls, emails, texts, photos, and status updates into a single view. For example, a friend’s Facebook status updates and photos can appear alongside his or her Flickr photos, text messages, emails, and call history.”

Pictured above is the Adroid device from HTC released this week and called the Hero. Although they have been breaking ground in the Android Arena (1st Android Devicewith Flash Lite) they state “We’ll do great business with both platforms.” HTC Sense UI will be “available on all new HTC devices moving forward.” Which begs the question of what whill become of the TF3D UI?

Reuters Arfticle

Windows For Devices Article

HTC Sense UI Debuts on HTC HeroTechnorati Tags: winmo, windows mobile, htc, sense ui, android, hero

Brothers 4 The Struggle: Classic Cleveland Hip Hop Circa 1991

// June 25th, 2009 // Comments // # Windows Mobile World

Another Brothers 4 The Struggle track. This one is called Before The Bell Rings. Classic Cleveland!

T-mobile Launch Date For Touch Pro 2

// June 25th, 2009 // Comments // # Windows Mobile World

T-Mo News posted the following screenshot showing the device is slated for a July 22 release date.

Remote Wipe 4 Windows Mobile? Yeah, We Got that!

// June 24th, 2009 // Comments // # Windows Mobile World

Every day I see news about a new application for Apple’s telephone. It used to piss me off because I thought how stupid is it to make it newsworthy that you have another application. However, if getting yourself another app is such a big deal that you think it should be news then you should take a hard look at the platform your on.

Enough with the rant…Most of the crap we hear released for other phones WinMo already has. I have to admit when I heard about remote wiping capability I thought dam that’s pretty cool. So i looked into it for us my WinMo Watchers, and yeah we got that.

F-secure (you might now them from rootkit revealor) has a mobile secuirty suite. In the past I’ve tried an anti-virus app for mobiles from another company and it slowed my device down quite a bit so I’ll be checking on the Ram footprint that F-Secure leaves as I test it out.

In addition to remote wipe & anti-virus/spyware, the security suite also includes a firewall & theft lock. So step one would be to lock the phone remotely so if you do get it returned you can unlock. While remote wipe can be activated via an SMS message. To prevent the thief from changing the SIM card out to change the number the phone is automatically locked when a SIM swap is done.

Here’s an F-Secure C&P

Complete security package with new anti-theft feature

• Smartphones perform many of the same things as a PC. They often contain confidential information like pictures, messages, banking details, e-mails and personal projects. F-Secure Mobile Security enables smartphone users to enjoy the full potential of their devices without worrying about threats to their privacy. It even safeguards data in the unfortunate event the phone is lost or stolen. (*

  
  Key features of F-Secure Mobile Security
  

  - Complete, automatically updated security solution for smartphones.

  - Includes firewall, real-time anti-virus and anti-spyware to protect smartphone against mobile malware.

  - Advanced anti-theft features *
  - Remote Lock can lock the phone easily with a single SMS message.(*
  - Theft Control locks the phone if the SIM card is changed. (*

  - Remote Wipe erases all the data on the phone - an ultimate safety measure to prevent misuse. (*
  - Works invisibly in the background, scanning all network traffic and monitoring the phone for malware.
  - Automatically retrieves newest updates whenever any data connection is used.
  - Additional SMS update mechanism for critical updates when a data connection is not available.
  - Smooth user experience thanks to light and efficient scanning technology.

The video is older but gives you more info about the product

The details are a little unclear on the website as to what works on what platform so I called F-Secure & got an affirmation that Remote Wipe does work for Windows Mobile

Kaspersky also has an app that does this. I’ll be addin info on their app soon!