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Posted in Quickies
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03/2 2009

Is your sex life normal?

Intimacy

I was reading an article the other day that purpoted people are having sex 2 to 3 times per week. It made me feel, well it made me feel inferior. Like how are these people finding time to break 2 or 3 sessions per week off? Either they don’t work, don’t have kids, or both of those apply.So I set off to do some homework and find some real people answers.

If your work then 8 hours of your day is shot. You spend it with people you hopefully like. Don’t forget prep for work and drive/bus time to and from. So once you get home and get the kids settled in, eat dinner, and get ready for bed it’s late and everyone is a little bit tired. I have friends that sneak a freak session in at lunch time. I even have co-workers that have done the nasty on the job in a closed stairwell, locked storeroom, or at lunch in the car. Those however are few and far in between occurrences. I mean your not gonna be risking your job to break one off every week.

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So now comes the evening portion of your day. Any decent parent isn’t gonna pawn their kids off on someone else 3 times per week and up until a certain age you need to be present at your childs activity. So the sneak and do it with the bedroom door locked is the only type of action your gonna get here. We’ve all had that knock at the door mid session. It ruins your mood and is hard to get back. So if your gonna do something while the kids are up it’s gotta be a quickie right? Good, glad we agree. No one wants a quickie 3x a week either.

Welcome to the night time. Everyone’s in bed and you can finally get some right? Wrong, there’s at least a 50% chance one of you is going to be tired.  So, I wasn’t suprised when I ran across this TimesOnline article

The majority of parents said they had sex more than once a month; and 63% said the frequency of their love-making ranged from several times a week to two to three times a month. For 46%, love-making sessions lasted 20-45 minutes, while 34% made love for up to 20 minutes and 3% for more than an hour.

Wow, that sounds just about right to me. Wonder if they can collaborate the rest of what I was thinking.

Tiredness was the chief reason given for having less sex now than before having a family; causes of this included the sheer physical energy needed to look after children, disturbed nights, early starts, pressures at work and general stress.

Sex with his wife was described by one father as “quick, covert, much like a military strike . . . My daughter seems to have been born with a built-in radar which informs her any time my wife and I try to get close . . . even if she’s in the other room . . . at two in the morning”.

Is there any hope?

Another mother, who has three children, said: “Being constantly tired and busy with activities after school made it hard to feel ‘in the mood’. Once the kids were older and more independent, we could return to more intimacy, and now that the kids have left home it is great.”

Kinsey Institute Stats

  • Frequency of sex

  • 18-29 year olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year olds an average of 69 times per year (Piccinino, Mosher, 1998).
  • 23% of non-married men reported they have never had sex in the past year, 25% reported only a few times in the past year, 26% reported a few times in the past month, 19% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
  • 32% of non-married women reported they have never had sex in the past year, 23% reported only a few times in the past year, 24% reported a few times in the past month, 15% reported 2-3 times a week, and 5% reported 4 or more times a week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
  • 1% of married men reported they have never had sex in the past year, 13% reported only a few times in the past year, 43% reported a few times in the past month, 36% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
  • 3% of married women reported they have never had sex in the past year,
  • 12% reported only a few time in the past year, 47% reported a few times in the past month, 32% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).
  • 13% of married couples reported having sex a few times per year, 45% reported a few times per month, 34% reported 2-3 times per week, and 7% reported 4 or more times per week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).

  • Many of you know I try to post an associated video with each post. Today, I blanked on what song would be a good comparison with today’s topic. If you have an idea of a better one, post it in the comments section. I have decided to insert Creep Inn by Ideal in the meantime. Enjoy!

    According to the Durex Survey (2001):

  • Americans appear to have the most sex at 132 times a year, with the Russians close behind at 122 times a year, the French at 121, and the Greeks at 115.
  • The countries with the lowest frequency of sex are Japan (37 times per), Malaysia (62) and China (69).
  • Couples living together report having sex 146 times per year.
  • Married couples make love 98 times per year.
  • Single folks are having sex the least at 49 times a year.
  • Four percent of the respondents to the survey claim to have sex daily.
  • 57% say they have sex at least once per week.
  • “People around the world would rather go out with their friends than have sex. More than a fifth (22%) choose their peers rather than having sex with a partner (19%), while a further 10% prefer to either play sport or go shopping.”

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    2. mBoo
      06/9 2010

      I only have one thing to say: THANK YOU! Your article only made me feel NORMAL, finally.
      Being a full-time student/single mom, the LAST thing on my mind when I have free time is sex.
      Here's my situation: I am dating a younger man who is not the father of my child. Therefore, his sexdrive is obviously higher than mine due to his gender, his age and the fact that he does not feel the stress of fatherhood (just yet…) Even if my partner is quite respectful about our sexual differences, I still feel this constant pressure to be a WonderWoman; one who can be a mom, a wife and a sex maniac/whore; all this while managing to have a successful career… ouf! Just thinking about it just makes me feel sick,dizzy, out of breath…
      It seems that the discomfort that I feel towards this matter is highly influenced by social pressure. I am the only one who has girlfriends who proudly claim to be nymphos to whom ever is there to listen??!!These girls make me mad! They somehow make me question my feminity while giving unrealistic hopes to the men of this world. I am sometimes thinking that being in a relationship is too difficult to handle…

      Anyway, thanks for this article again, it totally made my day!

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