Grown & Sexy

9 After Sex Personalities

There is an old quote stating “When I’m hard I’m soft and when I’m soft I’m hard.” Think about that for a moment. It’s no doubt that having sex will change things, for one females are emotional beings and males are… well men. But, do you actually know about your lover’s after sex personality? Do you know your after sex personality? Here are a few to be on the lookout for.

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The Sleeper – These are the people who fall right asleep after sex. The difference between you putting your lover to sleep and “The Sleeper” is that a sleeper will not move, there is no removing the condom, no getting up to wash up, nothing. Just rolling over and falling right to sleep.
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The Germaphobe – This is the person who washes, change the sheets and puts on new clothes right after sex. There is no down time to recovery time, or anything else. They go from sex to cleaning, good thing is neither one of you would have to lay in the wet spot.
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The Smoker – The smoker must light up a cigarette or finish off the roach after sex. Smoking after sex can be a great, way to connect with your lover. If you’re sleeping with a smoker, nothing turns them on then saying “Let me light that” right before they smoke their after sex cigarette.
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The Talker – This person wants to hold long drawn out discussions after sex, they might stay on topic and talk about what just went down, or they might go totally left field and start talking about the person at work they can’t stand.
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The Don’t Toucher – This is the person who simply doesn’t want to be touched after sex. This person can be male or female and after sex, they want you to leave or just simply not to touch them. There will be no touching, no cuddling or anything that involves skin on skin.
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The Go Homer – Not to be confused with The Don’t Toucher, this is the person who wants to go home immediately after sex. Some think they are just in it for the sex, others think they just want to go home. Either way they won’t be at your house for long.
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The Cuddler – This is the person who wants to cuddle up and lay on their lover. They simply want to enjoy the moment. There are also different type of cuddlers there’s the spooner, the lay on the chester, and the stay insider.
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The Sh*t Talker – This is the person who likes to crack jokes about the events that just took place. They say thinks like “Ha! you were screaming louder than the chick in Saw V!” or “Is your head okay? I didn’t mean to make you crack it against the headboard”
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The Analyzer – This is the person who suddenly wants to start analyzing the relationship. They say things like “What am I to you”, “What was this” or even worst “Do you love me?” 45 minutes of bumping uglies does not mean anything has changed. It is what it was when we started, questioning might change things.

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Little old lady in the naughty shop
Get ready to laugh
The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands, you’ll
remember this story.

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door
of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few
feet across the store to the counter.

Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering
she asks the sales clerk: ‘Dddooo youuuu hhhave ddddiillldosss?’

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing replies ‘Yes we do
have dildos.. Actually we carry many different models.’

The old lady then asks: ‘Ddddoooo yyyouuuu cccarrry aaa pppinnkk oonnee,
ttteeennn iincches lllong aaanndd aabbbooouutt ttwwoo iincchess
tthiicck…aaand rruuns bbby bbbaatteerrieeess? ‘

The clerk responds: ‘Yes we do.’

She asks: ‘Ddddooo yyyoouuu kknnooww hhhooww tttooo ttuuurrnn tthhe
sssunnoffaaabbiittch offff?

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